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About Malayalees and Where They Come From

Pay no attention to the irritating guy ogling at the kerala damsel. Well, this is how a typical keralite looks all dressed up. To my surprise, i discovered something very odd about my culture. We must be the only ones in india who DONT WEAR SAREES!!!!

In fact, our cloth is short and we wrap it as a towel across the chest and fasten it with a waist chain.

When i went to a saree shop, none of them knew what a neriyath is? They were trying their best to help me. They didnt even understand when i spoke in broken tamil. Then, they brought a lady claiming she was a malyali. She could understand what i said. And she did know my culture well. But i strongly think she isnt a malayalee. Or a pure one.

MUNDU VS NERIYATH

Mundu is a later version of a neriyath. Malayalees are not very colorful people. They wear only white or red silk with golden borders. They wear very little clothes too! No jokes. In earlier years, we only wrapped silk towels around our chest or waist. There wasnt any blouses involved. Men have a long white silk dhoti(like a skirt) around their waist. This too had golden borders. And they are topless, only a silk white shawl is worn round their necks.

So, after an hour of explanation to a tamil tailor, i got my suit sewn Its just a towel.

Where do malayalees come from?

That was always my question to all my relatives. Malayalees do look weird. Some look like malays, some have colored eyes and hair. So, they did tell me.

Kerala had always been close to arabia. They still are. We did trading with China and arabia. And we inter married. We do have chinese blood in us. I am not stereotyping, but i am glad i didnt get their eyes. But, most malayalees have a chinesy nose and a yellow undertone. But sadly, we never got their silky nice hair…

Vasco da gama died in Cochin. And portugese and dutch came over. Turks occupied india and they got their way into kerala. In fact, many came and went.

Now i finally understand why my cousins have green and blue eyes. I found it strange. I have black, even though i wished i had their eyes. We call them…POOCHA KANN…which means CATS EYES. And they are many out there. Aishwarya rai is one of them. Even though she was born in Mangalore. Mangalore was a part of kerala. So that explains her eyes as well.

Even though i am not light skinned like most keralites are, i am glad i have this brown tone in me. It looks like the perfect tan many people try to achieve And it suits my curly hair and make my eyes stand out better…

HOW TO IDENTIFY A MALAYALEE

Very simple.

All malayalees love TEA. HATE COFFEE.

They are usually light indian skin tone or brown with a yellowish undertone. If they are dark, they will have a yellowish tinge.

They all have curly hair.

They all have a type of eyes. I think they call it almond. Looks sorrowful too.

THEY ALL HAVE UGLY NOSES…

THEY ALL ARE TALL…

They dont speak…they sing languages out.

They are great at racism and cricism…

They love coconuts and bananas..its everywhere in KERALA.

They all have tea time.

They can learn languages very fast.

They can learn your culture in a minute.

They will also make fun of your language and culture the next minute.

They only sing melodious songs.

They are able to understand hindi and tamil.

They hate the tamils ...... .... .... (sorry).

They love/hate /but dont mind Punjabis.

They hate everyone except themselves.

They love kerala.

They hate shakila (kerala’s porn actress).

They love politics.

They have Scary Surnames such as Warrier, Nazi, Stalin.

They have malayalee family names, Menon.. Nair..

Malayalee Christians Have Such big names , Bobby fernandez .. John abraham.

Their children have weird nicknames such as Chikku, Chinnu, Chakki, Femina, Meenu, Rinku, Teenu, Tinky, Pinky, Munna, Kichu, Chinju, Shanu, Baby, Ancy, Anju, Mincy, Fimsy, Dhimsy.

They only love two actors…Mammooty and Laal Ettan.

They remind white people that they were chased out in the year 1947 from India.

But they settle down in America.